Find your whole “self”
Julia Cameron in her wonderful book “The Artists Way” said…
“When we’re clear who we are and where we’re going we have an energy that flows through us. When we resist where that energy might take us or what it might show us we feel out of control and slam on the brakes.”
So who are you and where are you going?
As I get further and further into that 40-something age bracket I find myself resisting where that energy might take me less and less. For the first 40 years of my life I definitely had my foot on the brake. Why would I risk going somewhere I didn’t know I’d enjoy or be any good at? No thank you! I’d stay safely in my field of “what I KNOW I am good at” and “where I THINK I deserve to be”. Come to think of it, I may have even had the handbrake on and was doing “donuts” in my 1992 Vauxhall Astra Cesaro Sport (limited edition of 1 million I believe)! Thrilling as it might have seemed at times, I know now that I was only being a fraction of the person I had the potential to be.
So what caused me to take the handbrake off and allow the energy to take me forward? Quite simply, COACHING. The impact that doing my Coach training had on me was and is life-changing. It helped me raise awareness of my patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviour that were and sometimes still do stop me discovering the person I am capable of being and was always meant to be. It helped me raise awareness and then take responsibility for making different choices.
I remember an incredibly powerful session on my coaching training when we were discussing Dr Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis model (Parent, Adult, Child Ego States) and Life Scripts. The concept being that by the approximate age of 7 you have unconsciously written your Life Script with memories and experiences that have been absorbed into your unconscious mind. It has a beginning, a middle and an end. It has heroes, heroines, villains and stooges and walk-on characters. It has a main theme and sub-plots. Without awareness of that script you’ve programmed into your unconscious mind, where all your habits and behaviour are stored, you will live out your script and seek confirmatory evidence that your script was right.
Within this powerful session on the course our tutor asked us to consider what our family moto was when we were growing up. I was at the far end of the table in this session and so had the longest time to think about my answer but it wasn’t until it was my turn to speak that I found myself saying “stay safe, don’t take any risks.” I remember a huge sense of “oh…that makes sense” filling my whole body. Like any loving parent, my Mum had wanted to keep her children safe and unconsciously that sense of safety was what I sought in all areas of my life.
But safety doesn’t push you beyond the limits of what you thought was possible. Safety doesn’t force you to try new things and realise you can do them and get better at them if you keep practising. Safety doesn’t allow you make mistakes and build your confidence and resilience by learning from your mistakes and trying again. And safety certainly doesn’t give you that huge sense of achievement when you’ve worked your butt off and succeeded at something that really means something to you.
The Law of Conservation of Energy says energy can be displaced but can never be destroyed. There is necessary polarity in all self-regulating systems to form energy – energy can be transferred from one opposite to the other. There wouldn’t be night without day, there wouldn’t be hot without cold and there wouldn’t be conscious without unconscious. The energy in the unconscious mind increases if the energy in the conscious mind decreases and vice versa.
In my case the energy that had accumulated in my unconscious mind, by keeping my foot on the brake and my potential buried and untapped into, had crashed through my safety defense barriers into consciousness and with it a whole lot of possibilities and a whole lot of fear.
We all tend to have dominant behaviours which we habitually use whilst other behaviours are “in shadow” in the unconscious mind and unless we become aware of the hidden potential and behaviours and traits which we haven’t tapped into we are unlikely to discover what we are truly capable of.
Just as a team needs a combination of different behaviours within it to work effectively to complement each other’s traits and skills, we, as individuals need to use our whole personality to achieve “wholeness” or self-realisation.
Clarity4D colour personality profiling can help you tap into your hidden potential and help you discover the person you were always meant to be. Contact me to find out more.