I don’t know where to start this blog, but I know I want and need to write it.  I love writing but I haven’t written a blog since September last year, and I’m procrastinating about what I want to write about and how I’m going to write about it.  The ‘Why’ is always clear to me; I write to make sense of the world and my experience of it, and I write in case my words resonate with and help anyone else in similar situations.  But what do I actually want to write about and how do I find the best words to articulate that?

In my last blog, I shared that I had been diagnosed with cancer in August.  Without a doubt the biggest shock of my life.  I talked about the different emotions I was dipping in and out of, as anyone would, faced with a traumatic event in their lives (see my previous blog on the Change Curve).  And I talked about how I was learning to allow myself to feel and process any emotion which arose, in order to help me think clearly about what actions I needed to take to retain a sense of control over what I could control; what I choose to believe, what I choose to think and how I choose to behave as a result.

So what do I believe?  And how am I thinking and behaving to back up that belief?

I believe our bodies want to and are able to heal themselves if we listen to them and give them what they need.  Our bodies need to feel safe and loved just like children.  Our bodies need to be listened to.

In my last blog I quoted this extract from “The Magic” by Rhonda Byrne.

“Like attracts like. It’s because of the Law of Attraction that the cells of every living creature are held together, as well as the substance of every material object. In your life, the law operates on your thoughts and feelings, because they are energy too and so whatever you think, whatever you feel, you attract to you.

If you think “I don’t like my job”, “I haven’t got enough money”, “I can’t find my perfect partner”, “I can’t pay my bills”, “I think I’m coming down with something”, “my child is a problem” then you must attract more of those experiences.

But if you think about what you’re grateful for, like, “I love my job”, “I feel amazing today” and you sincerely feel the gratitude, the law of attraction says you must attract more of those things into your life”.

What I’ve learnt over the last six months is to simply say that I am fit and well is not enough.  To simply say I want to attract a new reality is not enough.  I need to actually FEEL fit and well and I need to FEEL that new reality; consistently imagining myself in that new reality, as if I have already achieved it.

The unconscious mind can’t tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined, so if we use all our senses to experience that new reality – what we are seeing, hearing, tasting, touching and feeling – the unconscious mind thinks we have already achieved it and our physiology is altered.

Equally, to want or wish for a new reality is not enough to create healthy cells in my body.  To look at the situation from a place of ‘want’ reinforces to me that I am not there yet and tends to throw up all the potential challenges which I might need to overcome to get there, thereby putting me in a place of fear or doubt that I might not achieve that reality.

And if I’m in a place of fear or doubt I am not in my Parasympathetic Nervous System – I am not in healing mode.  If I’m in a place of fear or doubt, I’m more likely to be in my Sympathetic Nervous System (Fight or Flight survival response) which is going to lower my immunity, raise the levels of stress hormone in my body and slow down or even stop my healing.

So do I believe I can cure the cancer in my body by visualisation and positive thinking alone?  It would be nice but no, I don’t believe that.

I DO believe that healing needs to happen on a mental, emotional, physical and energetic level.  I believe I have to heal the cause of why something is out of balance and why there is dis-ease in my body rather than just treating the effect.

In my blog What Thailand Taught Me, I shared Alexander Lowen’s Bio-energetics model which explains how you can release suppressed or stuck emotion by having talking therapies and/or bodywork such as massage.  But to sustain that change you need to understand what needs were not being met for you which caused those blocks or defences to be created in the first place; the coping strategies you created to protect your heart.  And you need to help your mind and body feel safe and loved so those defences don’t need to be built up again.

What I have learnt is that I need to show my body that I am listening and nurturing it, just like a child.  Just as it is not enough to tell a child (or anyone) that you love them; you need to SHOW them they are loved.  They need to FEEL they are listened to and loved, just as they are, with all their perfect imperfections.

So how do I show my body it is loved? Well, of course, there are the usual suspects of regular exercise, getting plenty of sleep and eating regular, healthy(ish) meals.  If those fundamental physical needs are not met, we do not have a solid foundation on which to sustain a healthy body and mind.

And sometimes, just as it’s a struggle to cook anything other than fish fingers and chips for my children having juggled work, home-schooling or just ‘doing life’ for the day, it can sometimes be a struggle to feed my body a nourishing, organic meal.  And that’s OK as I know I can recommit to myself the next day.

Then there are mindful practices like yoga and meditation where I can use it as an opportunity to raise my vibration, tune into the present moment and listen to what is going on in my body and what it needs.  For example, maybe I am holding tension in my jaw, my shoulders (always!), my hips or knees. Holding tension can mean you are holding onto emotion that needs to be released and it can also mean you are spending too much time in a Fight or Flight (The Sympathetic Nervous System).

And sometimes, just as it’s a struggle to switch off feelings about the past or worries about the future, it’s OK to escape into a rubbish TV show with my children on Xbox in another room as I know I can recommit to myself and to doing mindful practices the next day.

Just as children need to have healthy boundaries to SHOW them they are safe and loved, our bodies need to have healthy boundaries in place too.  For example, who or what might trigger me into a Fight or Flight response, and how can I set healthy boundaries to keep myself safe and my vibration high, so I attract positive experiences?

We all vibrate energetically at a particular frequency. The lower the frequency, the denser our energy, and the heavier our problems seem. We may experience pain and discomfort in our physical body and experience heavy emotions and mental confusion. Tasks may feel like a huge effort and life may feel negative.

The higher the frequency of our energy or vibration, the lighter we feel in our physical, emotional, and mental bodies. We are likely to experience greater personal power, clarity, peace, love, and joy. We are likely to experience little discomfort or pain in our physical body, and our emotions are more manageable.

How are you taking responsibility for keeping your vibration high and supporting your body to be in its natural healing mode, in the Parasympathetic Nervous System?

Who are you spending your time with?  What are you spending your time doing?  What makes you feel good?  When we feel good we literally alter our physiology.

And the great news is I am feeling great.  I am so grateful for the army of love and support I have around me and I’m so grateful to be able to do a job I absolutely love.  I feel so privileged every time I work with a client and in turn, those amazing clients help keep me in healing mode.

With love and positivity to anyone who needs it right now xx