I often notice ‘mirrors’ with my clients in my work as a Transformational Coach.  I believe we attract people into our lives if we’ve got something to learn from them or something lurking in the shadow of our unconscious that needs to be unearthed and healed.

So it was no surprise to me this week to be listening to a client express his frustration at the system within which his role sits.  An incongruent system that labels itself as a safe space but doesn’t hear feedback, when it is given, of what is perceived to not be working for it’s staff but instead projects it back onto the employee to “do more work on themselves”.

In my experience, people and systems may not actually want to hear that feedback.

They may not want to hear feedback that they made a wrong decision as, at an unconscious level, they may feel ashamed that they got it wrong.

They may not want to be made aware that there is a different perspective to the one they are attached to, as they may have created an ego-identity around that perspective and have their self-worth attached to it.

They may not want to apologise for a mistake they’ve made as at an unconscious level they’ve learnt to believe that making mistakes means you’re not good enough.

It can feel really vulnerable to acknowledge any or all of those things but Transformational Coaching and the Inner Child Process helps you integrate fragmented parts of your psyche; parts of yourself that are scared, ashamed, embarrassed or angry and hidden in the shadows of your unconscious mind waiting to be forgiven, loved and accepted by YOU so you can receive that feedback.

• Receive that feedback that you made a mistake and that’s ok, as you’ll learn from it and get it right next time.
• Receive that feedback that there might be a different perspective and your identity and self-worth is not dependent on that, as we are all a work in progress with so much still to learn.
• Receive that feedback that you made a wrong decision so you can reassure yourself that that’s ok, you’ll own it, apologise for it and learn from it.

And that, as I see it, is a safe environment where everyone owns their “stuff” and works on themselves in order to model that to their staff.

And I believe the same can be said for the “system” that is our 3D, mentally constructed world.

When we can integrate our fragmented parts and understand who we are at a deeper level, we can love our whole self and express our emotions, listen to our heart and not project unhealed parts of ourselves onto others.

We won’t like everyone and not everyone will like us.  And that’s ok.  I saw a quote recently that said “I either love you, wish you well or hope you heal” and that feels really true for me.

Allow the people you love into your energy and love yourself enough to walk away from the others without holding onto any low vibrational emotions.

With love as always.

Sarah xx